links we find useful or interesting but havent read yethow to find a therapist
the multiple codesystem governments how things are going:working on creating a toolkit for using coping skills along with some sort of thing with all collected IMPORTANT information about the body and how to work it properly. (legal name, age, body presentaton, what is expected of us generally, our job and external relationships)
we are also working on a "emotional pain scale", as introduced to us by
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lb_lee the most simplest version is a "green yellow red" that a former therapist taught us, which defines green as "capable of being present, can change mind, can think about things in shades of gray" yellow as "not present, but capable of reason", and red, which is "uncapable of calming down or being in the present moment, incapable of reason", with the dividing line between yellow and red being "involuntary twitches and stutters"
honestly, we have been trawling LB Lee's website and dreamwidth and trying to read as many of their informational works as we can. we also bought a few of their works and !!!hopefully we will get them soon and can read them. Plus we have been inspired to dig back out our copy of "got parts" that we got a million years ago and promptly abandoned.
Speaking of abandonment, we have a habit of "rediscovering" we are a system over, and over, and over again. does anyone have any tips to keep this from happening? it sort of feels like something is making us forget, or someone, and when we really press on the issue, we suddenly find ourselves losing our train of thought, dissociating, being compelled to smoke like, an inordinate amount of weed.
the hope is we can try communicating with each other, but we dont have good discernment between a headmate and intrusive thoughts, or if they are a headmates intrusive thoughts? our brain sort of feels like multiple trains of thought all bouncing against and affecting each other. some headmates have strong "voices" and can be picked out, but others tangle. we also have a tendency to "glitch" or "stutter" our thoughts, so that someone might get stuck thinking the same thing, despite actively trying to keep moving. We also have not had good experience with visualizing, and we suspect some part of us has aphantasia.
it really does feel as if we have several brains crammed into one brain, all layered on top of each other, with their own intrusive thoughts and brain impulses, as aposed to how we typically see things described, as the body being controlled by vessels that exist in a place in the body's head, and share one brain.
does any of this make sense? augh!
![[sticky entry]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
, but what i did not expect is how much i love the FMC! usually, at best the FMC reads as a reader insert to me, shes very bleh and projectable. this girl has her own opinions! and they contradict each other! I love it. i feel kind of like a friend being told her thoughts and feelings, its very personal. 
My Lady says there is a version of him in one of the comics that is a trans man, but ive yet to see proof. 
